"How Then Shall I Live" by Wayne Muller -cont-
"How do you know what is true? What voices do you listen for that speak what is right. The truth is never far from your heart and spirit ... every person you touch, every act of kindness, every gesture borne of your love can uncover something deeply true within you... and with each act of truthfulness, you touch a deeper chord in yourself and others" (p.93)
Emerson said "Our life is an apprenticeship to truth."
...story of Karen, with cancer, who decides to work less, take walks, garden, have tea with friends, do yoga, meditate, lay in her hammock and listen to breezes. She started to paint. "She always wanted to deepen her spiritual practice. She always wanted to garden. She always wanted to paint". And she decided, if not now, when?
"We too will die. What more permission do we need to follow our own hearts? How many of us are secretly waiting for some magical permission -- like a diagnosis of terminal illness -- before we truly begin to listen to the quiet dreams, the desires of the heart?"
Karen said "I only give my care and attention to what is really important: being loving, being kind, creating beauty, being grateful.(p.155)
Thich Nhat Hanh said "some people believe they will enter the kingdom of God after they die. I don't agree. I know you don't have to die in order to get into the kingdom of God ... in fact you have to be alive to do it"
. . . . .aj: I prefer to change the wording to "some people believe they will go to heaven after they die. I don't agree. I know you don't have to die in order to go to heaven, in fact you have to be alive to do get there."
"If we follow what we love, if we liove deeply and attentively in this moment, we will not feel bound by regreat at the moment of our death" (p.159)
"We will live with reverence for all things and a deep gratefulness for the gift of a single day upon this earth. Thus our death begs us to live well and with joy."
aj: When I see Anne has died, Connie has died -- what a gift I have beenn given to be still alive. I have such a beautiful life too: Billy. Daisy. Two beautiful homes. Health. Wealth. How am I using these remaining days denied to Anne and Connie? What can I do with this precious time? What is it for? To do what? To be what? What gift or talent am I not using? What work needs to be done? What joy needs to be celebrated?
"Die while you are alive and be absolutely dead. Then do whatever you want:
It's all good." --Bunan, Japanese Zen Master
"When you consider something like death ... it doesn't matter if we try too
hard, are awkward sometimes ... we sometimes look clumsy ..." - Diane Ackerman
Wayne Muller tells of a friend with cancer who had a great fear of death. Muller recommended that he should repeat "I could die today". It freed him. He reflected "I just have this day, and so I do what I love with it. I visit friends, meditate, appreciate the mountains, call people who need my care. I'm not dying. I'm living" (p.168)
"What possible value can a single, modest human life have in this breathtaking cacophony of life and death? Indeed, the value of a single life shines brightly. A single rose, a single star, a single note of sweet music ... things of great beauty ... our every word, every act of kindness, love or beauty ... is an invaluable opportunity to contribute to the growth and beauty of all things. With our single life, we change ... (things)" (p.170)
Muller tells the story of a healing center's founder, Nancy and how she changed as a result of the death of her friend. "There was no uncertainly now, no hesitation at all. I was fearless. I felt a clarity and determination I had never felt before" In the old days, she would get an idea, then get stuck. Now she asks "HOW do I get past this? Let's try something else!"
"We're just going to do this.
If we can't do it this way
We will do it that way."
aj: Having known tragedy, impermanence, I know this life with my sweet Billy is on loan, a precious thing and a gift. I'm aware of how unbelievalby lucky I am to have a love like this.
I think of the Kris Kristof. and Rita Cooledge song "I never had a love like this before, oh no... I never had it so good."
Idea: Play guitar and sing songs like that...
Lovely quote by Ette Hillesum ... beautiful:
"Such words as 'God" and "Death" ... are best forgotten. We have to become as simple and wordless as the growing corn or the falling rain. We must just be."
"...there is no escape, so let's just do what we can for others ... sounds like defeatism ... something I don't mean at all. I cannot find the right words either for that radiant feeling inside me which encompasses but is untouched by all the suffereing and all the violence."
Exercise p. 176: Every you {blank}, say "I could die today." (each week pick a different activity). ask yourself (1)What feelings arise? (2)People?
